Gay male interracial dating

And when I scroll through Grindr’s grid of faceless torsos, I find myself only messaging guys with complexions lighter than a paper bag.

Even in person, when I’m trying to muster up the courage to talk to a cute guy, I first wonder if he’s "into black guys." I hate myself for even having to contemplate these things, and I’m now left asking myself: And the more I think about it, the more complicated the answer seems. The only gay people I saw in the media were white, and the few Black queer celebrities that I knew of, like Wanda Sykes and Michael Sam, were in interracial relationships.

All of this has shed a glaring light on my internal struggle.

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insecure about my Blackness — which is painful and embarrassing to admit.

As a Black writer who writes about issues of race and culture, I can’t help but feel a certain sense of hypocrisy when it comes to my dating habits.

They were estranged from our family, partly because of their health and their sexual orientation.

I never had the chance to speak to either one while they were alive, but I often wonder what advice or mentorship they could have provided me as a young Black gay male coming of age in such a sheltered environment.

When I finally came out in college, I was at a predominantly white school.

Many queer folks were closeted, and of the few who were out, most of them were white.There are also times when I feel like my white partners are trying to overcompensate for their whiteness. Does it give them a sense of moral superiority around other white people, as if they are more progressive?They start social justice conversations, bringing up racism and homophobia almost as if they're trying to prove how down they are. Does it make them feel less guilty about gentrifying the neighborhood?My understanding of relationships is developing, as is my knowledge of race, but I’m still unpacking how my sexuality really relates to my Blackness.As I continue on this road to self-discovery and acceptance, I often think about my gay uncles who died, and I wish they could have been a part of this journey.I’ve received messages that said, "I love BBC," or "I never been with a Black guy before," or, on the opposite end of the "no Blacks" spectrum, I've seen white men who are "not into white guys, sorry."When I'm dating a white man, I occasionally feel like I need to confront the issue of race head-on and acknowledge the difference in life experiences between me and my partner.

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